I was definitely not what Mia's brothers would have picked out husbandwise. Let me discribe my brothers-in-law and you will understand.
Chris, the oldest is an Army MP. Spend 18 months in Iraq. The first time we met he had hand-cuffs out and wanted to "cuff me" and "talk" to me about my intentions with his sister (He did not like that a guy older than he was was dating his little sister).
Justin, is the second-oldest and was a Marine. He manned a 50calibur machine gun on a hum-vee in Operation Iraqui Freedom. Justin likes to make hand-made knives and has dreams of becoming a gun-smith.
Brandon, is Mia's younger brother. Brandon works for a company which fixes up cars for some of the local auctions.
Between the three brothers and my father-in-law the family owns enough firearms to support a small-medium sized militia.
Now there's me. When I met Mia I didn't know how to change my own oil (I do now). I had never gone hunting. I did not own any fire-arms. I weighed about 140 and liked reading, drawing, and video-games.
Fast forward to our second Christmas after we got married. Chris and his new wife Angel were visiting from Kentucky and on Christmas Eve Mia got a call. Chris wanted to know if I wanted to go hunting with her brothers on Christmas day. Mia had to work all day Christmas so she didn't mind me being gone, but she was worried. She felt like her brothers could be a little careless, but she decided that since her had was going I'd be okay. I figured I'd better go so that I could improve my reputation with her brothers.
At 5 am Mia and I got up and had a quick Christmas morning together. I was at her parent's house at 6:30 in my camo and boots(recent presents from Chris and my father-in-law) and most of the cold weather gear I owned. We loaded up into Chris' Ford Explorer and drove to the northern border of Utah listening to Johnny Cash. We finally stopped in a little driveway next to an old abandoned barn. It was probably 25 degrees outside but thankfully there was plenty of sunshine and no wind.
We got out and moved to the back of the Explorer to "lock and load." My eyes got wider and wider as I realized the arsenal that we had been carrying. There were two AR15's (the AR15 is essentially the civilian issue M16), an AR4, 3 shotguns, one .22 rifle, one .357 Magnum revolver (Chris' Christmas present), one .45 automatic pistol (Chris' sidearm), and one .22 semi-auto pistol (Justin's sidearm). There may have been more, but those are what I remember. I also distinctly remember Chris remarking that we could hold of local law enforcement for "awhile" with the amount of ammo they had brought.
My father-in-law pulled me aside and asked me, "What do you want to shoot with?" I blinked at him for a while not knowing how to answer. We where going "bunny blasting" aka hunting jack rabbits in the sagebrush. Somewhat selfishly I opted to shoot my father-in-law's new AR15. He handed me a few 30 round bannanna clips and showed me how to aim with the holographic laser sight. Next thing I knew we were in a line trudging through the brush and snow, shooting at anything that moved.
I don't know that we made that much of a dent in the local rabbit population, but we made a lot of noise and had a good time. After lunch we did some skeet shooting and I was able to hold my own with several far more experience shooters.
I don't know that the trip was all that memorable for anyone else, but for me it was a turning point in my relationship with my in-laws. Something of a right of passage. I'm still a bit of an odd-duck around that family, but since Mia is their vegetarian little sister who always told them their guns were stupid, the brothers have taken me in as an ally.
About a week after the hunt Mia and I went up to see Chris and Angel before they went back to Kentucky. As we were leaving Chris walked out and handed me the shotgun he had been shooting with. I was stunned.
It now sits in my very own gun safe in my garage.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Hundred Acre Whodunnit.
Disclaimer: I love Winnie the Pooh . I have very fond memories of watching the original Disney cartoons and I have even read a few of the stories these cartoons are based on. If you at any time start to feel that I am defaming or ruining a fond classic, please stop reading and come back next weekend.
Several weeks ago I listened to a podcast on writing. The writing prompt was, "Winnie the Pooh has been murdered. Who did it?" Initially I blew it off as stupid, but I found myself thinking about the question. While driving home I decided to really think it through. What if this is an episode of CSI: Disney? Who within the hundred acre wood might have the temperament, the motive, etc. I really tried to rationally think of what would be plausible.
Suspect #1: Rabbit
Not only was Rabbit the first character that I thought of, but when I asked Mia what who she thought was the most likely, Rabbit was who she chose as well.
Temperament wise I see Rabbit as regularly irritated by Pooh. Rabbit likes peace and quiet and Pooh regularly disrupts that quiet. At some point Pooh takes a step too far and Rabbit snaps.
Suspect #2: Tigger
Tigger is difficult. Not because it is hard to imagine him being the culprit. The hard part is deciding, if in fact Tigger did it, whether it was an accident or intentional. I personally lean toward accidental death. Tigger simply pounces a little too hard. He's a predatory wild animal. It's more surprising that it didn't happen sooner.
Suspect #3: Christopher Robin
Christopher is the overseer, protector within this fantasy world and it is important to keep in mind that these characters are, in the end, this child's imagination. Anyone who has spent time playing with little boys would find Christopher Robin's behavior abnormally mellow. In my imagination Christopher is playing and decides to play a rougher game and Pooh is the unfortunate victim of that game.
Suspect #4: Piglet
I like the idea of Piglet being the killer (please don't hate me). I think Piglet shows some potential signs of the killer. He's undersized and may develop some psychosis because of that. He stutters which I understand is a sign of high intelligence. He also has some grit. I keep imagining the scene in "The Blustery Day" where Piglet is out in front of his house sweeping/being blown away. He knows how small he is. He must sense the danger of the wind, yet he is determined to clean his front yard. That is internal fortitude. From a storytellers perspective, I think the story where Piglet slowly hunts down each of the characters would be FREAKY.
I do not include Eeyore or Owl in the list of suspects. They are off the hook for totally different reasons, but I don't see either of these characters as potential killers. Yes Eeyore is depressed and glum, but there's no fire. No intensity to drive the kind of feelings and emotions which would be necessary for the story to hold together. Owl on the other hand is too obscure. He doesn't make sense becuase he's too aloof and disconnected from the other characters. It's like he's a part of another world and just occasionally visits the wood.
If you read this, I would love to hear who you think "did it" and why.
Several weeks ago I listened to a podcast on writing. The writing prompt was, "Winnie the Pooh has been murdered. Who did it?" Initially I blew it off as stupid, but I found myself thinking about the question. While driving home I decided to really think it through. What if this is an episode of CSI: Disney? Who within the hundred acre wood might have the temperament, the motive, etc. I really tried to rationally think of what would be plausible.
Suspect #1: Rabbit
Not only was Rabbit the first character that I thought of, but when I asked Mia what who she thought was the most likely, Rabbit was who she chose as well.
Temperament wise I see Rabbit as regularly irritated by Pooh. Rabbit likes peace and quiet and Pooh regularly disrupts that quiet. At some point Pooh takes a step too far and Rabbit snaps.
Suspect #2: Tigger
Tigger is difficult. Not because it is hard to imagine him being the culprit. The hard part is deciding, if in fact Tigger did it, whether it was an accident or intentional. I personally lean toward accidental death. Tigger simply pounces a little too hard. He's a predatory wild animal. It's more surprising that it didn't happen sooner.
Suspect #3: Christopher Robin
Christopher is the overseer, protector within this fantasy world and it is important to keep in mind that these characters are, in the end, this child's imagination. Anyone who has spent time playing with little boys would find Christopher Robin's behavior abnormally mellow. In my imagination Christopher is playing and decides to play a rougher game and Pooh is the unfortunate victim of that game.
Suspect #4: Piglet
I like the idea of Piglet being the killer (please don't hate me). I think Piglet shows some potential signs of the killer. He's undersized and may develop some psychosis because of that. He stutters which I understand is a sign of high intelligence. He also has some grit. I keep imagining the scene in "The Blustery Day" where Piglet is out in front of his house sweeping/being blown away. He knows how small he is. He must sense the danger of the wind, yet he is determined to clean his front yard. That is internal fortitude. From a storytellers perspective, I think the story where Piglet slowly hunts down each of the characters would be FREAKY.
I do not include Eeyore or Owl in the list of suspects. They are off the hook for totally different reasons, but I don't see either of these characters as potential killers. Yes Eeyore is depressed and glum, but there's no fire. No intensity to drive the kind of feelings and emotions which would be necessary for the story to hold together. Owl on the other hand is too obscure. He doesn't make sense becuase he's too aloof and disconnected from the other characters. It's like he's a part of another world and just occasionally visits the wood.
If you read this, I would love to hear who you think "did it" and why.
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